I Made the To-Do List. So Why Can’t I Do the Things on It?
Yesterday I made a to-do list.
Nothing unusual there.
Except then I decided the list wasn’t organized well enough.
So I rewrote it.
Then I realized a few things needed to happen before other things, which obviously meant I needed to reorganize it.
Then I remembered something I’d forgotten.
Added that.
Moved something else.
Looked at the list.
Thought about how long everything would take.
Started mentally calculating what I could realistically get done.
Realized there was absolutely no way I was getting ALL of it done.
Got overwhelmed.
And did none of it.
Excellent use of my time.
The worst part?
For a decent portion of this process, I genuinely felt productive.
I was planning.
I was organizing.
I was making decisions.
My brain was working HARD.
The actual things on the list remained completely untouched, but the list itself?
Beautiful.
I Know What I Need to Do
This is something I’ve been paying much more attention to since learning more about my ADHD.
There are plenty of times when I know exactly what needs to be done.
That’s not the problem.
I don’t need someone to explain to me that the laundry needs washing.
I can see it.
It’s right there.
Judging me.
I know the bedroom needs cleaning.
I know I need to answer the email.
I know I need to make the phone call.
I know I need to work on the project.
Knowing isn’t always enough to make my brain start.
And that’s the part that can be incredibly frustrating.
Because from the outside, the solution looks obvious.
Just do it.
Believe me, I have also told myself to “just do it.”
Repeatedly.
My brain has reviewed the suggestion and declined.
“Clean the Bedroom” Is Not One Task
This has probably been one of the most useful things for me to recognize.
If I write:
Clean bedroom on my list, it looks like one task.
My brain knows better.
It sees everything hiding underneath those two words.
Pick up the clothes.
Figure out which ones are dirty.
Start laundry.
Put clean clothes away.
Pick up trash.
Take the cups to the kitchen.
Clear off the nightstand.
Change the sheets.
Deal with the mail.
Put away everything that somehow migrated into the bedroom even though it does not belong there.
And then there are the random objects.
You know the ones.
The things you pick up and think:
Where exactly do you live?
Now I’ve stopped cleaning because I’m holding a charger that may or may not belong to something I haven’t owned since 2019.
This is how we end up in trouble.
What looked like one task has quietly become dozens of decisions.
And sometimes my brain’s response to too many decisions is to make none of them.
So I’m Shrinking the Assignment
I’ve been trying something different.
Instead of:
Clean the bedroom.
I give myself:
Pick up the trash.
That’s it.
I’m not secretly supposed to clean the entire room once I start.
The assignment really is just trash.
Suddenly there’s an obvious starting point.
See trash.
Pick up trash.
Put trash in bag.
Done.
Then I can decide what comes next.
Maybe it’s clothes.
Maybe it’s taking dishes to the kitchen.
Maybe I’m on a roll and keep going.
Or maybe I finish the trash and decide I’ve had enough character development for one evening.
Either way, the room is slightly cleaner than it was before.
And I’m learning not to dismiss that.
Ten Minutes Feels Different Than “Until It’s Done”
Time matters too.
I’ve noticed a huge difference between telling myself:
I need to work on this until I finish it.
and:
I’m doing this for 10 minutes.
“Until it’s finished” has no visible ending.
Ten minutes does.
I know when I’m allowed to stop.
That makes starting feel less expensive.
And something interesting happens sometimes.
The timer goes off…
and I keep going.
Not because I forced myself to.
I’m already in it.
Starting was the hardest part.
Of course, other times the timer goes off and I am DONE.
That’s information too.
I’ve Been Making Plans for an Imaginary Woman
This realization has been both useful and slightly hilarious.
I have spent years making plans for a woman I have never met.
She wakes up exactly when her alarm goes off.
She doesn’t hit snooze.
She gets ready without getting distracted.
She remembers everything she needs before leaving the house.
She follows her schedule.
She completes tasks in the order she wrote them down.
She doesn’t suddenly become deeply interested in reorganizing something completely unrelated halfway through.
She estimates time accurately.
She definitely doesn’t spend 45 minutes designing the perfect system for a task that would have taken 20 minutes to actually complete.
I don’t know this woman.
Yet for some reason, I keep handing HER the schedule.
And then I’m frustrated when I can’t follow it.
I’m trying to stop doing that.
I’m Building Systems for the Person Who Actually Has to Use Them
That’s the part I’m working on now.
Not:
What is the perfect way to organize this?
But:
What am I actually likely to use?
Those aren’t always the same answer.
Sometimes the thing that works for me isn’t pretty.
Sometimes it’s a sticky note sitting somewhere I can’t possibly miss it.
Sometimes it’s an alarm with a ridiculously specific label.
Sometimes it’s doing something for five minutes.
Sometimes it’s asking someone to give me the first step because I can see all 17 steps at once and can’t decide which one comes first.
Sometimes it’s deliberately putting only three things on my list even though there are fifteen things I could technically do.
And yes, sometimes it’s still making the beautiful organized list because I genuinely enjoy making lists.
I just can’t confuse making the list with doing the list.
That’s where things get dicey.
The Question I’m Using When I’m Completely Stuck
When something has become enormous in my head, I’m trying to ask myself:
What can I do right now that would make this slightly more done than it was five minutes ago?
Not finish it.
Not fix everything.
Not catch up on everything I’ve been avoiding.
Just make it slightly more done.
Open the document.
Put the clothes in the washer.
Throw away five pieces of trash.
Answer one email.
Put the dishes in the sink.
Find the phone number I need to call.
Sometimes that’s all I do.
But sometimes that tiny action gets me through the hardest part:
Starting.
If Your Brain Does This Too
You don’t need to wait until you’re motivated enough to tackle the entire thing.
Try making the assignment smaller.
Then smaller again.
If “do laundry” isn’t happening, maybe the assignment is “put the clothes in the basket.”
If that’s still too much, maybe it’s “pick up five pieces of clothing.”
There’s no prize for making the task harder than it needs to be.
And there’s definitely no bonus point system where doing something the miserable way somehow makes it more legitimate.
If something makes it easier for you to begin, use it.
I’m trying to remember that myself.
Because I’m discovering that five minutes actually doing the thing gets me further than 45 minutes spent thinking about how I should be doing the thing.
Although, for the record…
My rewritten to-do list really did look fantastic.
I would like that acknowledged.
— Michelle
Radiant Rise
Healing. Growing. Rising Together.
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