Sometimes I see a trend online and immediately know one of two things:
Absolutely not.
Or…
Oh no. This is way too accurate. I have to do it. 😂
This one was definitely the second kind.
The idea was simple:
What if the different parts of your life could leave reviews about you?
At first, that sounds funny.
Then you actually start thinking about what they would say…
…and suddenly you’re being personally attacked by your dog, your planner, your phone battery, and your sleep schedule. 😭😂
So apparently, the different parts of my life have been reviewing me.
And nobody thought I should know about this.
Luna: 4.9/5 ⭐
First up: Luna.
She gave me 4.9 out of 5 stars.
FOUR POINT NINE?!
Apparently I lost .1 because sometimes I leave the house without her.
Ma’am.
I have a job. 😂
In my defense, she also acknowledged that:
Meals usually arrive on schedule.
Walks happen regularly.
The blankets are comfortable.
And cuddles are apparently top tier.
So overall, I think I’m doing pretty well in the customer service department.
Would recommend.
Apparently with minor complaints. 😂
My Planner: 4/5 ⭐
Then my planner entered the conversation.
Her review?
“She means well.”
The disrespect. 😂
Yes.
I make plans.
Sometimes I change the plan.
Sometimes the new plan creates another plan.
Sometimes I write down something I already finished just so I can check it off.
And before anyone judges me:
I EARNED THAT CHECKMARK. ✔️😂
There is something extremely satisfying about seeing a completed task sitting there with a little check beside it.
Even if technically the task existed before it made it onto the page.
Details.
My Black Kipling Bag: 4/5 ⭐
My black Kipling bag apparently has concerns about its working conditions.
Which feels dramatic.
Because listen…
YOU ARE AN OVERSIZED BAG.
I simply believed in your potential. 😭😂
Yes, there may be chargers.
A portable battery.
A planner.
Pens.
Business cards.
Medication.
Emergency supplies.
A Kindle.
Two phones.
Snacks.
And approximately seventeen things I probably won't need that day.
But what if I do need them?
Exactly.
Case closed.
My Phone Battery: 3/5 ⭐
My phone battery would also like to file a complaint.
Apparently management “refuses to use available resources.”
Excuse me?!
I carry chargers.
I carry a portable battery pack.
I have access to outlets.
Apparently the problem is that I am also expected to actually plug the phone in.
Seems demanding, but okay. 😂🔋
Somehow I can have every charging option known to humanity and still look down at my phone like:
11%?!
Again?!
Coffee: 5/5 ⭐
Finally.
Someone around here appreciates me. ☕😂
Coffee gave me:
5/5 stars.
Review:
“Loyal customer.”
No additional comments necessary.
Probably the healthiest relationship represented in this entire post.
My To-Do List: 4/5 ⭐
Then my to-do list decided to complain that its job description keeps changing.
Okay…
Things happen.
I remember something.
Something becomes urgent.
I get an idea.
Then I remember another thing while doing the first thing.
And occasionally…
WAIT — I HAVE AN IDEA.
😂😂😂
Suddenly one task becomes three.
Three becomes seven.
And the original thing I sat down to do is sitting quietly in the corner wondering what happened.
Normal.
Probably.
Sleep: 1/5 ⭐
And then came the most disrespectful review of all.
Sleep gave me:
⭐☆☆☆☆
The review?
“She said she was going to bed and then started another project.”
Okay.
I HAVE NO DEFENSE FOR THIS ONE. 😭😂
Because apparently “I’m going to bed” sometimes means:
I’m going to check one thing.
Then fix one thing.
Then remember something else.
Then open Canva.
Then somehow it’s significantly later than it was when I originally announced that I was going to sleep.
Sleep has receipts.
Unfortunately.
So… 4.8 Stars Overall?
Between my full-time Leasing Agent job, Radiant Rise, Radiant Rise Creative, my personal life, Luna, and whatever random creative idea decides to appear next…
I’d say 4.8 stars overall is actually pretty damn good. 😂💗
Because yes, there is chaos.
There are changing plans.
There is an overflowing bag.
There is a phone battery that desperately needs better management.
There are approximately 700 things on my brain at any given moment.
And apparently my ideas have absolutely zero respect for bedtime.
But there was one review on the graphic that I loved most:
Would do it all again.
And that part?
That’s true.
Because as busy, messy, creative, ridiculous, and unpredictable as my life can be sometimes…
It’s mine.
I’m building things I care about.
I’m learning.
I’m creating.
I’m trying.
Sometimes I’m figuring it out as I go.
Sometimes the plan works.
Sometimes the plan needs another plan.
And somehow…
it works.
Maybe not perfectly.
But perfectly was never really the goal anyway. 💗
Now I Want to Hear Yours
If the things in your life could anonymously review you…
who would leave the WORST review?
Your alarm clock?
Your laundry basket?
Your planner?
Your car?
Your phone battery?
Your bank account? 😭😂
Tell me what their review would say.
Because I have a feeling mine aren’t the only ones with complaints.
If this post made you laugh, leave a comment with your own imaginary life review — bonus points if you include the star rating. 😂⭐
And if you know someone whose phone battery, planner, or sleep schedule would absolutely have something to say…
Send this their way.
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